Adult sms

1.A junior needs a name

Love is a gamble,
Sex is a game,
Boyz do the thing
Girls get the blame,
1 night in pleasure
9 months of pain
1 day in hospital and
a junior needs a name


2.What’s an average 6 inch long

What’s an average 6 inch long
Inside a guy’s pants and girls love to blow it up?
?
?
?
?
A:1000- rupee currency note.!
Always think positive


3.Let me kiss your lips

Let me kiss ur lips,
let me feel ur teeth,
let me feel ur tongue.
SMILE!
This is ur friend
“PEPSODENT”
reminding you to brush ur teeth,
Twice a day Everyday


4.It’s too tight

Girl:It’s 2 tight
Boy:Don’t worry,I’ll do it slowly,
Gal:Push it in,
Boy:Ah..I can’t,
Gal:It’s painful,
Boy:Forget it.
.
.
.
.
We’ll buy new WEDDING RING!


5.Can kids of our age have kids?

Boy and girl of class 2 asked teacher:
“can kids of our age have kids?”
Teacher replied ” NO Never!!”
Boy said to girl :
“see i told you not to worry!!!!”.

6.A beautiful girl goes to Professor

A beautiful girl goes to Professor cabin
and
say
that i will do anything to pass in the exams
and professor says
NOW OPEN YOUR
.
.
.
.
.
.
Books And Study


7.Nurse, Sardar and blood test

NURSE kept SARDAR’S FINGER in HER MOUTH
after BLOOD TEST.
THEN SARDAR STARTED DANCING .
NURSE:y r u DANCING.
SARDAR:next is URINE TEST


8.He came at night, explored my body ….


He came at night,
explored my body,
got on top of me,
touched me, he bit,
sucked, swalowd,
when he was satisfyed,
he left, i was hurt,
.
.
.
BLOODY… MOSQUITO !!!!



9.I really deeply wish … on my bed

I really deeply wish dat
u r here with me in my room.
on my bed & lights is off &
we get under the cover together..
2 show u my glow in the dark watch.


10.Two men went 2 a callgirl

2 men went 2 a callgirl.
1st went in and came out n said
“Na my wife is better.”
2nd went in and came out n said
“U R right ur wife is much better.”


11.Catch her by her waist…Put ur lips on her lips…

Catch her by her waist…
Bring her home..
Keep ur hand on her neck
Put ur lips on her lips
& have a …
…nice drink…PEPSI



11.Difference between stress, tension & panic

3 FEELINGS
what is the diference b/w stress,tension & panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant,
tension is when girlfriend is pregnant &
panic is when both r pregnant


12.Cheating kion ?

Fair & lovely ke ad ma face dikhaya
Ponds ke ad ma hath dikhaya
Pentene ke ad ma baal dikhaye
Phir always ke ad ma cheating kyun?



13.Lady wanted 2 go 2 toilet

In a party a lady wanted
to go to toilet so
she inquired with a sardar
papaji susu karne ki jagah dikhao,
sardarji replied u naughty
pehle tum dikhao.



14.A girl phoned me

A girl phoned me
the other day and said …
“Come on over, there’s nobody home.”
I went over. Nobody was home

wife and husband sms

1.Why did u shoot ur wife ?

Judge:why did u shoot ur wife
instead of shootingher lover?


Sardar:Your honour,
it’s easier to shoot a woman once,

than shooting one man every week.

2.Your husband needs rest

Doctor:Madam, your husband needs rest 
7.Husband & wife are like liver and kidney.
 
Husband & wife are like liver and kidney.

Husband is liver & wife is kidney.
If liver fails, kidney fails.
If kidney fails, liver manages with other kidney.

8.Wife: What is so interesting in me

Wife: What is so interesting in me?


Husband: I dont know the meaning of interesting!!!


9.Any boyfriend before marriage
 
Husband 2 Wife : Did u Have any boyfriend before marriage ??

Wife remains silent ……

Husband : Mai is Khamoshi ko kya samjhu ??
Wife : Abbe gin ne to De….

9.Three Movie tickets

Husband: Today is sunday &

I have to enjoy it.
So i bought 3 movie tickets.
Wife: Why three?
Husband: 1 For U and 2 for ur parents.











and pease so here are some sleeping pills.
Wife: Doc, when should I give them to him?
Doctor:They are for you.!!


3.How woman calls their husband in first 6 years

How woman calls their husband in first 6 years

Yr 1.Janu
Yr 2.O G.
Yr 3.Sunte ho?
Yr 1.O bunty k pappa
Yr 1.Kahan mar gaye?
Yr 1.Tum aate ho k main aaon?

4.Was my fault…

Last night was my fault,

my wife asked,
“what’s on the TV?”
and ….. I said, “dust!”

 
 
5.Wife: Nonsense it’s only a matter of patience
 
Husband:u will never succeed

in making that dog obey u!
Wife:Nonsense it’s only a matter of patience,
I had a lot of trouble with u at first.

6.Than we met

My wife and I

were happy for 20 years.
Than we met.

insult sms(English).

1.U r a nice person…

U r a nice person…
but..U have to do 2 things early in the morning…
1st. pray to God so that u can live….
2nd.take a bath so that others can live….
 
 
2.Six truths of life
6 truths of life:-

1. You cannot touch all of your teeth with your tongue.
2. All idiots, after reading the first truth, try it.
3. The first truth is a lie.
4. You’re smiling now, because you are an idiot.
5. You soon will forward this to another idiot.
6. There’s still a stupid smile on your face.



3.When u feel sad….

 
When u feel sad….
To cheer up just go to the mirror and say,

“damn I am really so cute”

u will overcome your sadness.

But don’t make this a habit…..

Coz liars go to hell !!!!
 
 
4.I put my dog out of the window
 
Do u remember the day we travelled in a car?
I put my dog out of the window,

u put ur face out,

then people started shouting

‘TWINS TWINS’
 
 
5.What is a difference between a Kiss, a Car and a Monkey?
 
What? is a difference between
a Kiss, a Car and a Monkey?
A kiss is so dear,?
A car is too dear and
A monkey is U dear.
Only you were selected
My eyes detected



7.International day for mentally disabled

My heart reacted
Thousand were rejected &
Only you were selected.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Because I needed a monkey
for an advertisement.
Today is an international day

for the mentally disabled .
Please send an encouraging
sms to a mentally disabled friend,
as i have done………
Mental hospital is not so far


8.What is the difference between monkey and donkey


Twinkle Twinkle little star,
What is the difference between

Monkey & Donkey ?

Monkey saves this message

&

Donkey deletes this message.
Choice is urs……..:p
You should know what you are,
And once you know what you are,
Mental hospital is not so far